The Quickest Way To Shut Down Your Career

And that, dear reader, is to take any notice of people who tell you that you are too much…

Too intimidating
Too powerful
Too many opinions
Too bossy
Too ambitious
Too ‘much’
Too many ideas
Too involved
Too proactive
Too energetic
Too questioning
Too much to say

The list could go on – and interestingly these are qualities we often admire in men, and are presented as something positive.

I’ve been called several of these things over the course of my career – and many of you reading this will identify with them too. They sting. And the chances are they come from uninvited opinions about you.

The fastest way to shut down a woman is to tell her she is too much. Of anything.

The result? We often unquestioningly accept those opinions of other people and take them to heart. Unconsciously, we absorb what someone else has said and make subtle changes in how we show up.

Maybe we stop voicing our opinions.
Maybe we tone down our ambitions and don’t apply for that next promoted post.
Maybe we stop asking those questions.
Maybe we shut up and step back.
Maybe we stop challenging.
Maybe we defer to someone else.
Maybe we become hesitant

The effect of telling a woman that she is too much, in any way, is a way of silencing her. Of denying her the career she wants and robbing her of her voice, her drive and her place in the world.

The world needs more women with energy. The world needs more women with opinions and the confidence to express them, to say what they think and not worry what others think of those opinions.

The world needs more women to show up with more ideas, with the spark and the determination to get themselves heard.

The world needs more women to question the way things are done and offer alternatives.

Let’s encourage a woman’s voice in the workplace, not shut her down.

You are not too much, you are powerful, strong, confident, eloquent, assertive, focused, energetic, determined, incisive, challenging, sharp, smart, thoughtful, strategic….

Remember, other people’s opinions of us, don’t have to become ours if we don’t want them to. Unsolicited feedback and unasked for opinions are often unwarranted and unfounded, and say more about the other person that us.

If other people’s opinions are getting in the way of your career success and you’re not putting yourself forward for opportunities, then 5 Steps To Develop Your Leadership Presence will help you to manage self-doubt and become promotion-ready – you can download a copy here.

Originally posted on susanritchie.co.uk

Susan Ritchie

Susan Ritchie is a leadership coach who specialises in working with new and aspiring female leaders, helping them develop their leadership presence, so they can lead with confidence, create the right impact and excel in their role. She’s the author of Strategies for Being Brilliant: 21 Ways to be Happy, Confident and Successful.
She can be found at www.susanritchie.co.uk where you can download 5 Steps To Developing Your Leadership Presence – and why not come and say hello on twitter @susanjritchie.

25 Questions to Ask a Mentor

Whenever I’m asked “What are some of the best questions to ask a ...

25 Songs For Your Leadership Playlist

What are your all-time favorite leadership songs — the ones that make you ...

Four Types of Questions To Ask Your Mentor

Have conversations with your mentor gotten a bit repetitive lately? Perhaps you approached ...

How to Shut Down a Colleague Who Takes Credit for Your Work

Has this ever happened to you? You’re in a meeting and the unthinkable ...

11 Leadership Lessons Learned

Here are 11 lessons I’ve learned about leadership—mostly from much-admired colleagues, and just ...

5 Ways to be a Leader, Not a Manager

Have you ever wondered about the difference between a manager and a leader? ...

100 Leadership Qualities

What are your leadership strengths? That’s a question I ask in a survey ...

15 Leadership Quotes to Help You be a Leader, Not a Manager

Sometimes you need a reminder and some inspiration to be a leader, not ...

10 Killer Leadership Skills: The Great Differentiators?

Last week at Hallmark I hosted a couple gentlemen from a partner company. ...

7 Ways To Build Great Relationships With Your Team

The challenges facing new leaders in a business situation are many and varied. ...

Leaderly Quote: The tasks you let go of…
Leaderly Quote: The tasks you let go of…

“Shoulds” are tasks or obligations we take on, accompanied by an inner monologue that goes,

How to Write a Simple and Beautiful Manifesto
How to Write a Simple and Beautiful Manifesto

Traditionally, a manifesto is a written statement where you publicly declare your… – Intentions (what

Leaderly Quote: Leadership is not about doing more
Leaderly Quote: Leadership is not about doing more

You probably already had a to-do list longer than a CVS receipt before this global

What’s on Your Not-To-Do List?
What’s on Your Not-To-Do List?

Leadership is not about doing more. It’s about switching from doing to leading. From this

100 Leadership Qualities: What’s Your Signature Style of Leading?
100 Leadership Qualities: What’s Your Signature Style of Leading?

There’s an entire industry of books and seminars founded on the assumption that if you

20 Leadership Quotes by Women to Inspire You in 2020
20 Leadership Quotes by Women to Inspire You in 2020

20 of our favorite leadership quotes by women At Be Leaderly, we’re on a mission

Happy Holidays 2019
Happy Holidays 2019

May your Holidays sparkle with moments of love, laughter, and goodwill, and may the year

5 Ways to Shift From Doing to Leading
5 Ways to Shift From Doing to Leading

To become a leader, there is a series of key shifts in mindset and behavior

You Do You: Claim Your Leadership Strengths
You Do You: Claim Your Leadership Strengths

We are often so focused on trying to fix our weaknesses that we neglect to

Leaderly Quote: We are often so focused on trying to fix our weaknesses…
Leaderly Quote: We are often so focused on trying to fix our weaknesses…

We are often so focused on trying to fix our weaknesses that we neglect to

At Be Leaderly, our mission is a simple one: To provide proven career strategies that help you lead, climb, and thrive as a rising woman of influence. If you’re ready to lead, we’re here to support and inspire you.

Copyright 2020, Be Leaderly